


Lady in Red

by DennisReynolds



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Alcohol, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, Rimming, Smut, dennis is a bastard man, towards women
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-18
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2019-04-24 10:49:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14353935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DennisReynolds/pseuds/DennisReynolds
Summary: Dennis has a date and can’t stop thinking about stupid sexy mac





	Lady in Red

The air was still, the night was warm. Too warm. Verging on gross in the city. Dennis was sweating into his dress shirt. He needed to get it off before his date noticed how disgusting he was. What was her name again? Minnie? Marla? Dennis slowed to a halt as they came to the front door of his and Mac’s apartment building.

“So... here we are.” Dennis smiled and dug into his back pocket for his keys. Meghan gave a tight lipped smile and didn’t say anything. “This is my place”, he added, with a faux nervousness. Bitches love it when you look nervous. It makes them think that you care. In reality, Dennis was just going through the motions. He would get her upstairs, into his bedroom and be inside her within five minutes. 

Meghan bit her lip and batted her big, dark eyes. “Maybe I could come up for just a quick drink?”

Dennis’ smile glinted dangerously, not quite reaching his eyes. He placed his hand on her bare shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. “Only if you’re sure.” Goddamn he was good. He took her loosely by the hand and led her inside, up the dingy, wood-panelled stairwell to the front door, where he jimmied his key in the stiff lock. “I think my roommate’s home but we can just-”

As soon as Dennis opened the door, they were hit with a wall of dank fug. Goddamn Mac and his fucking shitty pot from Charlie. Meghan waved her hand in front of her face, clearing some of the smoke. Dennis took in what was happening. There was Mac, lounging on the sofa, feet on the coffee table, with a joint and a mug of red wine. He was shirtless and in a pair of loose shorts, with probably nothing underneath if Dennis knew Mac. He’d clearly just come from the gym and not showered, the filthy animal. He was covered in a light sheen of sweat, and his hair was matted to the back of his neck, but maybe that was just the July heat and their lack of air-con. What in fresh hell was he was doing? He knew Dennis was bringing a girl over, he was supposed to be harmlessly occupying the TV so they could retreat to the bedroom, not staging a fucking Bob Marley tribute in their communal living space. The fucking imbecile. Still, this could work in Dennis’ favour. He turned to Meghan, who looked less than impressed, and whispered into her ear, “Babe, why don’t we take a bottle of wine to my room?” He then moved a piece of hair out of her eyes, and gazed at her with the most earnest look he could physically muster, speaking quiet and low. “So we can be alone”

She didn’t look particularly enthusiastic at the idea of going to Dennis’ bedroom, however she was up in the apartment now, and she seemed even less enthused to stay in the living room with an out-of-it Mac blazing up a storm. She stepped through the threshold into the apartment. “Yeah alright. You should really open a window in here though.”

The sound of a female voice must have alerted Mac to their presence, as his head whipped round and he grinned, “Heyo! Dennis! And... lady!”

Dennis blanched and gave a curt nod. “Mac. This is Meghan.”

“Aww shit man I’m sorry I didn’t think you’d be back so soon. I kinda got high and kinda ate all the Pringles and kinda drank most of the wine. You wanna watch TV?”

Dennis pressed a hand to his face. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. With no wine his bedroom was even less appealing. How did Mac manage to eat and drink like he did and still look that good though? Dennis was practically killing himself to remain a 9.5. Still, like this Mac was repulsive enough to make Dennis look like a gentleman by comparison. At least Dennis was still wearing a shirt.

“A world of no. We’ll be in my room”

“Psssh. Whatever man.”

Meghan leaned into his ear. “Actually, do you mind if I use your bathroom? Just want to... freshen up.” Dennis suppressed a grin. He knew what that meant. He was definitely getting laid tonight. 

Dennis pointed her to the bathroom and headed through to make everything perfect for when she came out. The bed was already made, so he hastily lit a couple of cheap paraffin tea lights on his dresser and opened his laptop. Now for music, that was a no brainier. Chris De Burgh, Lady in Red. Nothing gets bitches wetter than Chris De Burgh.

His speakers were pretty tinny but those opening synths couldn’t be better. Dennis caught his own reflection in his full length mirror and started swaying. 

I've never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight 

I've never seen you shine so bright 

He unbuttoned his shirt and ran a clammy hand over his pecs, never breaking his own eye contact in the mirror. His muscles looked great in candle light, he thought. The flickering shadows really complimented his soft definition. His hands moved down over his abs, as Dennis started grinding his hips and feeling the front of his crotch, giving it a cursory squeeze. He needed this. He hadn’t gotten his dick wet in a couple of weeks and this heatwave was stifling. Shit, he needed a release. He bit his lip a little too hard, just so to make the colour pop. That was an old trick. Goddamn he was gorgeous. Meghan was a lucky, lucky girl. Suddenly, a knock on the door broke Dennis out of his self-induced trance and he whipped around. He gave himself a final once-over in the mirror before running a hand through his hair and calling out “You may enter”.

Meghan slipped through the door, and her mouth dropped open.

The lady in red

Is dancing with me

Cheek to cheek

Dennis was going to fucking ruin her. He stepped towards her and placed his hands on her waist, swaying to the music. She smiled and looked up at him with those big, dark eyes. “How did you know I loved this song?”

Dennis smirked. “Lucky guess” He leaned down and kissed her, gripping her waist and gently easing his tongue into her soft mouth. She let out a quiet moan and grabbed the hair at the nape of his neck. This was almost too easy. How long was it appropriate to kiss for before getting undressed? Fuck it. He ran his hands up her arms and slipped a spaghetti strap of her dress down, moving to suck at her neck and divest her of the other strap. She tilted her head and her lips parted as her eyes drifted closed. Her dress fell to the floor and Dennis pushed her down with the hand he had on her shoulder.

She took the hint. 

She eagerly undid the button on his jeans and made quick work of his zipper, the whore. Dennis leaned back and peeled the trousers off his legs, before walking backwards to sit on the edge of the bed. It was the least he could do, really. Meghan kneeled in between his legs and mouthed at his cock through his boxer briefs. The final chorus of the song faded.

The lady in red, my lady in red

I love you 

She was trying to hold his eye contact from down there, which quite frankly was off-putting. Why did girls always try and hold your gaze whilst you were thrusting down their throat? It’s not like they were on a honeymoon. Meghan slipped his underwear down to his mid thigh and started going to town on his admittedly still flaccid cock. They were now in silence, and Dennis could hear the sounds of the city outside. A car horn, the occasional rush of traffic, someone shouting. His mind began to wander. He could faintly smell the aftermath of Mac’s session in the living room, a sweet summer something drifting from under his bedroom door. Dennis wondered what Mac was doing, whether he had showered yet, or he was still slick from evening sweat. He could hear something on TV, but Dennis couldn’t work out what it was. It must have been funny from the way Mac giggled to himself every now and then.

“Uh... Dennis?” He turned his face away from the ceiling to look at his lap.

“What?”

“Is there something you want me to do?”

Dennis narrowed his eyes and furrowed his brow. “What?”

Meghan looked nervous. “Well I mean,” she said, nudging his soft dick to make her point. “You’re clearly not enjoying this.”

Dennis sat up and pushed her away from his crotch. “Listen.” He held a finger up. “If Little Dennis isn’t enjoying himself, then clearly you’re not doing a very good job”

This apparently was not the right thing to say.

“What?!” Megan bolted up. “I’ve been sucking you off for the best part of ten minutes now and you can’t get hard. How is that my fault?”

Dennis pulled his boxers up. “Excuse me bitch, I can so get hard.”

Meghan was now gathering up her dress from the floor and stepping back into it. “Whatever. Thanks for fucking nothing.”

Dennis stood up. “If I didn’t get hard, it’s because I didn’t want to get hard with a girl as ugly as you anyway, Marilyn.”

“My name is Meghan!”

“Whatever, bitch! Get the fuck out of my apartment! I am a man who can get hard whenever he wants! I have the self control of a goddamn God, and you don’t deserve my penis!”

Dennis followed her through to the living room. She was clumsily shoving her strappy sandals on as she walked to the door. “You’re such a fucking creep. I knew I’d regret this. Have a nice life, asshole”

She slammed the door shut. Dennis could hear her heels clattering down the hallway and she walked away. He screamed into the still air. The kind of scream that made his veins emerge and blood vessels behind his eyes pop. 

From the sofa, Mac cleared his throat. “This is really messing with my high, you know.”

Dennis turned around to look at Mac, his voice dripping with dangerous sarcasm. “Oh is it? I’m sorry, did I ruin your night?” 

Mac gave a goofy grin and his head lolled back on the sofa cushions. “Nah don’t worry man, we’re all good.” He was blissed out, lips ruddy from the wine and one hand down the front of his shorts.

Dennis moved a cushion and made room for himself on the sofa, unceremoniously shoving Mac’s legs aside so he could get comfortable. “This is all your fault, you know.”

Mac frowned. “Huh?”

“If you didn’t disrupt my plan with your goddamn weed and you’re goddamn nakedness, then I”, 

He jabbed a finger at his own chest.

“Would be in there” 

He gestured towards his bedroom door.

“With fucking Madison”

Mac appeared to be absorbing this. “I dunno man. I fail to see how the two are related.”

“Because looking at your sweaty, gross body put me off!”

“Hey man, it’s hot! Anyway,” he nodded towards Dennis’ navy underwear, “you’re wearing less than me.”

“But I’m supposed to be getting laid right now!” He shook his head, and put a hand to his temple. “I don’t even know why I’m trying. You’re way too stoned to hold a conversation.”

Mac shrugged. “I think I’m more drunk than stoned actually” He proffered the mug, swinging it wildly so the cheap red sloshed inside, nearly spilling over the couch. God, how had it come to this? Dennis thought he’d be balls deep in a chick by this point in the evening, not stuck to the couch drinking two buck chuck out of Mac’s Phillies mug. He drank deep, peeling himself off the leather and flopping back down to make himself more comfortable. Mac’s feet were crossed over his thighs.

“Dude, can you take your hand out of your pants if I’m here?”

“Why?”

“Because it’s fucking disgusting”

Mac smirked. “You jealous?”

Dennis rolled his eyes. Okay, he thought, I’ll bite. “What would I possibly have to be jealous of? Your Cheeto fingers fondling around your ungroomed balls? Dude.”

“I’m at half chub right now”

Everything seemed to pause. Dennis could faintly hear The Simpsons on TV, a car horn, the occasional rush of traffic, someone shouting. Mac was looking at him appraisingly, head tilted back, bottom lip worried in his teeth. There was no two ways about it now, his right hand was down the front of his gym shorts and Mac was slowly stroking his own cock. A bead of sweat dripped down Dennis’ forehead. He became aware of Mac’s feet on his lap, heel digging into the soft flesh of his inner thigh. Dennis swallowed, and a shaky bark of nervous laughter came out of his mouth without him quite meaning it to. “I think you’re pretty wasted, man”

“You were thinking about me when she had her mouth on your dick”

Dennis shoved Mac’s legs off his lap and spluttered. “Oh come on man, not like that.” He refilled the mug and downed the wine in one. “And stop fucking doing that” Dennis leapt forwards and grabbed Mac’s wrist, wrenching his hand out of his shorts. Without his hand there however, the thin fabric strained not against his wrist bone, but on the now obvious tenting in his crotch. He was at more than half chub now. Dennis was too hot. He squirmed against the leather, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand.

Mac sat up. “Are you all right man?” 

Dennis could feel his heart beat in his chest, in his neck, in his head, at his crotch.

Oh. Oh.

He looked down at himself. “Oh that’s interesting.” He murmured. He flexed the fingers on his right hand and ran them up his inner thighs. He had goosebumps. Dennis glanced up at Mac, who looked like he had just been smacked in the face with something heavy.

“Dennis what are you-?”

“Shut the fuck up” Dennis held a finger up to silence him. “Let me fucking enjoy this” He ran a hand over his boxers, feeling himself thicken in his palm under the soft cotton. He arched his back and spread his legs, using his other hand to cup his clothed balls, as he gave them a gentle squeeze. He grazed a thumb over one of his nipples and fully grabbed his dick through his shorts. He curled his toes and dug his heels into the scratchy carpet. Dennis’s eyes flicked up. Mac had one hand gripping his own hair so tightly he looked like he was in danger of yanking it out in fistfuls. The other hand was tentatively, guiltily fondling himself. Most of his penis was out of the front of his shorts, now turgid and flushed a deep pink. Dennis felt his jaw slacken. He swallowed. “Mac”

The sound of his own name must have broken some sort of spell because Mac froze in the act, dumbfounded, glazed with sweat like a sugar donut Dennis wanted to lick clean. He made a throaty noise of recognition.

“Mac I’m gonna try something, and you’re not gonna freak out. Are you gonna do that for me? Hmm?” 

Mac nodded.

“Take off your shorts.”

Dennis detached himself from the leather of the sofa and slid down his underwear as Mac lifted his hips up and slipped his shorts off. Dennis was right, he was far less groomed than him. Mac’s dick curved upwards into is own fist as he almost absent mindedly stroked himself. Dennis arranged himself over Mac’s supine form and nudged his knees apart with his nose. He felt an intake of breath under him as he dipped his head.

“Dennis”

“Mmm?” Dennis looked up. He hasn’t expected Mac to talk. He’d been pretty quiet up until this point. 

Mac looked down at him with an expression so vulnerable, so delicate, that all Dennis thought about was how easy it would be to break him if he wanted to. How easy it would be to ruin his life, to utterly destroy him from the inside out. Mac blinked. “Den, I can feel your breath on me”

Dennis didn’t say anything. Instead he reached for Mac’s hand and clasped it tightly, intertwining their fingers. He looked away, away from those eyes, and steeled himself. And then he took Mac into his mouth. The skin was so soft, so delicate he felt as he’d been entrusted with some sacred artefact. Mac moaned. The sound shot straight to Dennis’ crotch, which was now flushed with heat. He bobbed his head up and down experimentally and felt Mac’s thigh muscles tense. The sensation was too overwhelming, too invasive. Everywhere was Mac, the salt of sweat and precum on his tongue, the desperate, irregular breathing and whiny moans coming out of him, the heady musk every time Dennis’ nose hit his pubic hair, It was all too much, all at once. Dennis leaned back and spat into his palm, before licking a stripe up Mac’s dick. He committed himself with renewed fervour, bouncing up and down, letting himself be fucked in the mouth, willing himself desperately to not gag or choke. Dennis lifted his hips up and reached between his legs to stroke himself. He was hard and throbbing, aching for attention. He slid his newly slick hand around the base of his cock and let out a low moan around Mac, feeling him ooze into his mouth. Dennis could feel the blood in his head, he could hear his own heartbeat. He was feverish, intoxicated, there was no time for thought or reason or justification. There was only Mac.

And then Mac pulled out of his mouth and took his hand away and Dennis felt like he might die. He actually whimpered at the loss of the cock in his mouth, snapping his neck up to see what could have possibly caused Mac to draw away from him, but then there were hands on the back of his head pulling him up into a messy kiss and something cracked inside of him. Mac pulled his mouth away, his forehead slammed against Dennis’, still cradling his head. “I’m sorry man, I just-”

Dennis shook his head and kissed him again. “Don’t be” He wiped the damp hair off Mac’s forehead and dove in again, hungrily rolling their crotches together. “Don’t be sorry about anything” Mac took Dennis’ cock in his fist and began jacking him. Dennis leaned in for an open mouthed kiss and shoved his tongue in Mac’s mouth. And then Mac just about melted underneath him. He could feel his tugs getting sloppier, faster. Dennis could smell his sweat and his cologne and feel his heartbeat against his own. He could feel his stomach muscles tightening, he could feel everything building inside of him. Dennis wasn’t sure if he was going to come or cry. “Mac” He panted, “I think I’m pretty close”

Mac grabbed his shoulder and pushed him so that he was lying down on his back and Mac was looming over him. “Finish in my mouth”

Dennis caught his breath. “What?”

Mac smirked. “You fuckin heard me”

And then the next thing Dennis could feel was hot and wet and oh God Mac was swirling his tongue and lapping at his cockhead and he wasn’t breaking eye contact the entire time. If Dennis wasn’t in a state of shock he would have come there and then. Dennis screwed his eyes shut but there was still Mac everywhere, in his ears and nose and on his tongue. He opened them when he felt Mac pull away from his dick, only to see him grab the back of Dennis’ thighs and thrust them in the air. He looked hungrily at Dennis’ tight, pink hole before looking at his face for approval and seeming to think “Fuck it”.

Mac had one hand on the back of Dennis’ thigh and the other jacking his own cock as he licked a line down from Dennis’ dick to his ass with his mouth. Dennis’ back arched and his nails scratched at the leather sofa. “Oh Mac what are you... Oh that’s fucking obscene you-” Mac pressed harder with his tongue at the sensitive, silky skin. He could feel Dennis squirming beneath him, feel his muscles flexing and contracting at the bombardment of sensation. Dennis couldn’t stand it any longer, and started fucking his fist, gazing down at the image of Mac probing at his entrance. His nerve endings were on fire. It was lewd, it was filthy. It was the hottest thing he’s ever done. 

“Mac, please”

Dennis couldn’t breathe

“Mac I-”

He stroked faster, curling his toes and throwing his free arm across his face.

“Mac, shit, I’m-”

Dennis saw spots.

“Fuck”

He was vibrating at a frequency he didn’t understand. And then he felt the waves of pleasure crash over him. He erupted over his stomach, pulsing into his hand as he stroked himself slowly through climax. He felt everything and nothing, the world was just white noise. Dennis looked down at Mac, who was leaning back and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. 

“Den”

Mac repositioned himself so he was straddling his torso and placed a hand on Dennis’ face. His brow was furrowed in concentration and he was biting his lip, occasionally letting a moan escape. He didn’t seem to know what he was saying any more.

“Den you’re so fucking good you’re so fucking hot, shit”

He slid his thumb into Dennis’ mouth and stroked his jaw, quickening his pace on his own cock with his other hand. He continued to let out a stream of obscenities.

“Oh God. Den I wanna fuck you. I wanna be inside of you”

He seemed to be getting close, as he was lurching forward involuntarily and his legs were inching apart. Dennis gave a wry smile. “You gonna come for me?”

Mac bit his lip. “Gonna come all over you, all over your pretty little mouth”

“Yeah?”

“Fuck yeah, fuck yeah”

Mac’s hips were bucking, his head snapped back. Dennis bit down on Mac’s thumb, and felt spurts of come decorating his shoulders and neck. Mac stayed there for a few moments, breathing deeply, before climbing off Dennis and heading to the bathroom.

Dennis lay in silence for a couple of minutes. His fingers and toes were still prickling. He couldn’t think straight. “Hey Mac?”

“Yeah man?”

Dennis screwed his eyes shut.“Can you get me some tissue? I can’t move or the sofa will become semen city”

Mac returned with a scowl and a roll of toilet tissue. “Ew, man, gross. You could have just asked for some TP like a normal person”

Dennis shrugged. “It’s hard to think straight when you’re covered in this much cum”

Mac threw the roll at Dennis’ head. “Again, dude. Gross.”

Dennis wiped himself off, shoving dirty tissues in an old Pringles can on the floor. “I don’t know man, for a guy who had his mouth on my asshole about 10 minutes ago you really shouldn’t be talking about gross”

Mac was pulling a sleeveless t-shirt and some clean boxers on when he came back in, handing a clean pair and a beer to Dennis. “Whatever dickhead, you loved that”

Dennis laughed. “You got me there.” He took a long drink from the bottle, and climbed into the pair of boxer shorts Mac had handed him. They were too big, but they were comfy and they smelled like home. The TV was now showing King of the Hill, and Dennis nestled into the couch. Mac threw an arm around his shoulders. “Got any weed left?”

**Author's Note:**

> I listened to lady in red about 1000 times one day and this fic is the result I’m sorry


End file.
